Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 7:00 pm

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Kim Jung Un announced he’ll build a replica of London’s Big Ben clock and the Eiffel Tower in a Pyongyang amusement park. It must be spring. He also asked Dennis Rodman to bring Jason Collins with him to North Korea next month and to wear something low-cut.
NBA’s Jason Collins came out as gay Monday and upset many traditional perceptions about NBA players. This will take some time for fans to sort out. Until now, everyone took for granted that the NBA is a game between a man and a different woman every night.
Bill Clinton released a statement saluting NBA player Jason Collins for coming out as gay Monday. The media ate it up. Being a Democrat means believing Jason Collins’s sex life is everybody’s business while insisting that Bill Clinton’s sex life was nobody’s business.
Sutton Foster announced the Tony Award nominations Tuesday with Cyndi Lauper’s musical Kinky Boots garnering 13 nominations. This year’s Tony Awards on CBS should draw huge ratings. The climate is right for a Broadway actor to come out as straight.
London bookmakers report huge action from betters on the name of the royal baby born in three months to William and Kate. The stakes are huge. Pete Rose just offered to bribe Prince William into telling him the baby’s name and now he’s banned from cricket.
Tim Tebow was released by the New York Jets Monday after the front office failed to trade him. Fame is so fleeting. A year and a half ago, Tim Tebow led Denver to the AFC Championship game, becoming the most famous white bronco since the O.J. Simpson car chase.
Michael Jackson’s family’s negligent death suit against AEG went to trial Monday. His death was all too typical in L.A. After dozens of plastic surgeries, nose jobs, cheek implants and botox injections, his family did not know whether to bury him, cremate him or recycle him.
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Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. Email him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.

Published in The Messenger 5.2.13

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