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Valentine cop-outs

Valentine cop-outs

Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:00 pm
By: By Lisa Smartt

Some of our friends have rebelled against Valentine’s Day. “It’s too commercial.” “I don’t need a calendar to remind me to tell my wife I love her.” “My husband knows I love him every day.” “I don’t need flowers or chocolate to prove my love.” “Hallmark doesn’t run my life.” Okay. Is everyone done with the nay saying? Now, let me set the record straight.
We stand with the full and complete celebration of Valentine’s Day. We do. I’m sorry that a sappy card offends your sensibilities. It doesn’t offend ours. If that heart-shaped box of chocolates makes you feel too commercial, send it to our house. And flowers? I mean, c’mon, what’s not to love about flowers?
If our society has set aside a day to honor love, why wouldn’t we want to jump on board? Of all the things in our current culture that I don’t support, love is actually something that I can heartily get behind. So, if you’re in love, stop with the excuses. Bust a gut, people. Let’s get this done.
Men, if you’re financially strapped, worry not. Write a heartfelt love letter and make cupcakes — 99 percent of women love cupcakes and love letters. And the other 1 percent? They’re  just pretending they don’t love cupcakes and love letters. I have no idea why.
Oh, and women, if you’re on the receiving end, be gracious and appreciative no matter how small the gesture. My husband and I counseled a young married couple years ago who were having marriage problems. She was feeling unloved. He was trying hard to prove his love. Finally, we looked at the young woman and said, “What would make you feel loved? What could your husband do that would make you feel like he had truly made an effort?”
Her reply was remarkable, “You know that scene in a movie where the guy picks up the woman in a private jet and takes her to some place unexpected like Paris or Rome. Yeah. Now that’s real love and romance.”
We were dumb-founded. Her young husband could barely afford gas and a movie ticket. And now she had dangled this horrific expectation in front of him. That’s emotional abuse and it made him want to quit trying.
Defining romance by what you see in movies is never a good idea. Movies have multi-million dollar budgets. And the guy in the movie is not even in love with his co-star. Yes, I saw the scene where her midnight gaze brought a tear to his eye. But it’s all a farce. He’s an actor. He never takes out the trash. He doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night to care for nauseous young ’uns. A word to the wise: Never take romantic cues from people who don’t do their own laundry.
A world of people are looking for love. If online dating commercials are any indicator, there are thousands upon thousands who are hoping to meet that special someone this year. So, if you’re blessed to have already met the love of your life, stop worrying about the commercialization of Valentine’s Day. Buy the flowers. Write the note. And if you get the notion, you can even step out on a limb and take her to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower. Less than an hour away. No plane ticket required.
For more information about Lisa Smartt, visit her website, She may be contacted at

Published in The Messenger 2.13.13


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