Dads2Dads: Cherish the moments

Posted: Friday, December 28, 2012 7:00 pm

By TOM TOZER and BILL BLACK
Take a moment to listen to the unfolding of the day and the footsteps and voices of those you love. Sit quietly and focus on a sentence, a phrase, or a laugh and wonder about the ways it impacts your life. Honor some silence so those who speak softly or less often can be heard. Today, reflect on those you love and the blessings they bring. They are the greatest gift.
Our broken hearts:
This holiday season is a difficult one. We remain numb by the loss of those children and their caretakers at Sandy Hook School in Newtown, Connecticut. This could have been any school, any town. Yet, it was this event at a small school in a town of 27,000 that has affected us all. It exceeds our ability to explain. We’ve watched, wondered and wept for those who died and those who suffered unimaginable loss. We fear for our own children and worry for our nation.
Love one another:
Often, we write about the importance of saying “I love you.” Our kids need it and so do others in our lives. While we cannot keep our children totally out of harm’s way, we must create a society in which they feel secure and have an opportunity to grow and succeed. We must find middle ground between defending our rights and promoting common sense. We must make every effort on all fronts to protect the most vulnerable among us. We can hardly defend our individual rights if we ignore everyone’s right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
A parent’s role:
Your child may be sad or afraid even though this event happened far away. You can help by calmly discussing the event, maintaining a normal routine in your home, and, most of all, listening and being sensitive to any changes in mood or behavior.
In the coming months, as our country debates the issues this tragedy has raised — gun control, school safety and mental illness — you can conduct a dialogue with your children and reassure them of your love. Be there for your child, more than ever, and teach that people can make a difference for a better life.
The gift of time:
When we send our kids to school, allow them to go to a sleep-over or, later, hand them the car keys, we fret, worry, and pray. As our children grow, they step further and further away from us. The time that we have with our children is just that … the time we have. Every moment with our kids is a gift. What better season to be reminded of that.
The tragedy in Newtown occurred as Hanukkah was ending and Christmas was about to begin.  Let us remember the recent words of Rabbi Moshe Gurary: “… the idea of the holiday is the triumph of light over darkness and that we with our spirits can overcome all obstacles.”
Hug your children. Hold them. Tell and show them that you love them. Spend time with them. Let us pray for the victory of light over darkness.
Contact Tom Tozer of Nashville and Bill Black of Murfreesboro at Dads2Dads@comcast.net.  Visit www.dads2dads.wordpress.com.
Published in The WCP 12.27.12