What’s in a sentence? A good chuckle if you look hard enough

What’s in a sentence? A good chuckle if you look hard enough

Posted: Friday, September 7, 2012 8:00 pm
By: By Glenda Caudle

What’s in a sentence? A good chuckle if you look hard enough | What’s in a sentence? A good chuckle if you look hard enough

It might just be time, in the midst of this nasty political season, to take a few minutes to laugh. So let’s look at some goofs we’ve spotted.
A report on a saddle club event in a neighboring county was submitted to The Messenger. The club had sponsored a game night with an interesting theme. Here are the details sent to us for publication: “You never quite know what is going to happen on game night at the GCSC (Gibson County Saddle Club). However, the game night held on June 10th was truly a one of a kind night. The facilitators … began the evening in full mid-evil attire.”
No half-measures here. Does that mean they moved on up to full end-evil attire before the night was over? We suspect what the writer meant to convey was that the facilitators were all decked out in medieval dress. But who knows what naughtiness they actually get up to at saddle club events?
A report from a police department in the area made reference to a vehicle with a “lean” against it.
That probably should have been “lien,” which refers to the legal right to hold another’s property or to have it sold or applied for payment of a claim, especially to satisfy a debt. But perhaps there was an instance of someone propping up against the car. And maybe that person was on the malnourished side. The possibilities are plump with meaning.
We receive menus from area schools on a regular basis. Sometimes a small problem sneaks in, like one that assured us students would be able to enjoy “powered” French toast for breakfast at the beginning to the school day.
Wouldn’t it be terrific to actually energize children and teens for a day in the classroom with some “power” foods? We imagine, however, that the students actually had the opportunity to enjoy powdered French toast (meaning it was sprinkled with a sweet seasoning).
The Messenger is not, of course, the only publication either to receive mistakes, spot goofs or trip over its own shoelaces.
From one of my favorite English language mavens, Richard Lederer, come these reminders that words make a difference — and sometimes the results are hilarious.
“Matson, of Phelps County, is recuperating from wounds inflicted two weeks ago when an unknown assailant fired a shotgun at his backside. About 800 marijuana plants have been discovered in the same area.”
There is no truth to the rumor that Matson has ever been in the area southwest of Hornbeak, thereby adding to the number of “weeds” discovered there several months ago.
“The Misses Doris, Agnes, and Vivian Jameson are spending several days at the home of their mother. This is the first time in years that the community has had the pleasure of seeing the Jameson girls in the altogether.”
We’re betting the pleasure might have been greater a few years earlier. But perhaps the Jameson girls have good aging genes and still have the ability to stir passions.
“Katherine Innes, as the virgin in this year’s production of the Passion Play, has already started her rehearsal. She is the first blond virgin for a century.”
And you thought blondes were only endearing for their ditziness.
Headline: “Helen Wills Moody on 3-Week Honey-moon”
Tennis champion Helen Wills Moody was on her honeymoon when her wedding inspired this misleading headline that called into question her attitude toward marriage.
Headline: “Free vaccinations sought for every child by Clinton”
Who knows how long that would have kept clinics busy?
Special Features Editor Glenda Caudle may be contacted by email at glenda caudle@ucmessenger.com.

Published in The Messenger 9.7.12

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