A fearful day for phobiacs and their anxieties
Posted: Friday, January 13, 2012 8:00 pm
By: By KEVIN BOWDEN, Staff Reporter
If you’re not already aware, today is a really troubling day for triskaidekaphobiacs.
They are the ones who have a fear of the number 13. As in Friday the 13th. As in today.
There are actually three such Fridays that fall on the 13th this year (a leap year by the way) — April 13th and July 13th.
Actually, those who are afraid of Friday the 13th are correctly known as paraskavedekatriaphobiacs.
What a mouthful.
It got me to thinking about all the phobias out there, beyond the common phobias like arachnaphobia and acrophobia (spiders and heights).
I discovered hexakosiohexekontahexaphobia — fear of the number 666. And that led me to another discovery, hippopotomonstroseequipedaliophobia — fear of long words.
For those of you maniaphobiacs this is going to be a tough year, considering it’s a presidential election year. Yep, maniaphobia is the fear of insanity. Oddly enough, the fear of insanity is also covered by dementiaphobia and agateophobia.
Ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) is something I’ve suffered with for years and now I think I’m developing a case of cyberphobia (fear of computers) since returning to The Messenger.
At least I haven’t got geliophobia (fear of laughter) or catagelophobia (fear of being ridiculed), since I can only laugh at my own ineptitude on the computer when I’m not being ridiculed by my co-workers.
After exploring all the phobias that exist in the world, I thought I’d offer a few humorous suggestions for some new phobias, like Obamaphobia. That would be the fear among non-Democrats that this will be a re-election year.
Then there is GOPophobia, which relates to former president Reagan’s 11th commandment not to disparage your own political party and fellow Republicans, advice apparently lost on the current field of Republican presidential candidates.
Based on all the attention being focused on the end of the Mayan calendar this coming December, I’d like to offer doomsdayophobia. You should be able to recognize all the doomsdayophobiacs. They’ll be the ones carrying “The End of the World Is Coming” signs on Dec. 21.
What about celebriphobia — the abject fear of such celebrities as Charlie Sheen or any of the Kardashian sisters and their twisted lifestyles all played out on television? It’s no wonder it used to be called the “boob” tube.
One final entry to the phobia suggestion list could be bowlgameoverloadophobia. I’ve just about succumbed to that fear these past few weeks, and there’s still some more NFL action before the Feb. 5 Super Bowl. Go Broncos!
And here’s hoping none of you who have made it this far in my column has panaphobia — the fear of everything.
HERE & THERE: If you haven’t already made plans for a trip to Reelfoot Lake, the next few weeks offer a variety of special events to go along with the lake’s bicentennial. There are eagle tours, the Eagle Festival and what looks to be an interesting riverboat exhibit coming to Reelfoot Lake … I took a spin around Union City’s new million dollar walking trail earlier this week. I really like the pier … and there is talk about a new fast food Mexican restaurant coming to town.
Staff Reporter Kevin Bowden may be contacted by email at email@example.com.
Published in The Messenger 1.13.12