Posted: Wednesday, January 26, 2011 6:01 pm
My wife is divorcing me, and we just had our first baby boy. I feel it’s my responsibility to take care of her until the divorce is final, and to keep her in a safe vehicle. She’s driving a 1982 Honda Civic, and it’s so small any kind of wreck could be a disaster. I’m thinking about buying her a new car. What do you think?
I’m really sorry you guys are going through all this, especially with a brand new baby in the mix. I appreciate your nobility and attitude about the situation, but you need to realize that once you’re divorced, it’s no longer your responsibility to take care of her. Divorce carries a lot of emotional stress and worry for everyone involved, but I don’t think buying her a new car will solve anything. It may actually lead her to expect even more from you later on.
I’m going to take a wild guess that the truth of the matter is you’re worried about your child, and this whole thing is breaking your heart. That’s natural, Mike. It means you love your baby. But a “safe” car doesn’t have to mean a brand new car. You could put her in an old Suburban and she’d be safe, because those things are tanks!
If it were me, and the relationship couldn’t be salvaged, I’d find a large used car – one that either one of you can pay for with cash – and let her drive off into the sunset. But spend every second you can hugging and loving on your little boy, and make sure you’re a fixture in his life. He’s going to need someone like you.
You’re always talking about accumulating piles of cash. I’ve gone to church for several years, and the Bible says not to lay up treasures on earth. Doesn’t that mean that we shouldn’t accumulate wealth or be greedy?
The Bible also says in Proverbs that in the house of the wise there are stores of choice food and oil.
If you look back through scripture, you’ll find that many of the major Biblical characters were very wealthy people who understood they were not the owners of the money and wealth. They understood that their job was to manage these things properly for God’s glory.
I can appreciate your concern, George, but when I talk about piles of cash my frame of reference is that we’re to handle our money and other possessions for good and for God. It’s not about greed, or to use in buying bigger and better stuff for ourselves.
But you can’t do good things if you don’t have the strengths to do good things!
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