Guru eating high on hog
Posted: Thursday, October 7, 2010 5:21 pm
The Hitman is living proof.
The game’s greatest gridiron guru — having devoured any leftover competition — is digesting yet another week of perfectly-prepared prep pigskin prognostications.
The fabulous football forecaster’s frequent Friday feast included a menu of 22-of-25 (.880) winners and brought the seasonal spread to 161-19 (.894). That bountiful buffet makes a 24th straight year of the all-knowing augur eclipsing the once-coveted .800 mark all but a sure thing.
Stuffed from his latest seared selections, the sensational sideline soothsayer relays the story as to how pleasing his palate and identifying winners are intertwined.
Seems as once he was dining at an upper-end restaurant and noticed that his main entree (lobster) was served minus a claw.
Inquiring as to why, it was explained that sometimes prior to cooking, marine crustaceans fight in the holding tank — often resulting in a loss of said claw.
Satisfied with the explanation, but not the choice made for him, the game’s greatest gridiron guru pushed back his plate and demanded emphatically of his waiter:
“Then bring me a winner.”
Hoping not to choke, the Hitman takes a big bite out of this week’s challenging five-star list of games.
See you there.
UNION CITY AT HUMBOLDT — Good thing this is a football game and not a track meet, or the Tornadoes would have more ground to make up than in just the district standings. Though faster than most of its competition, UC won’t be able to keep up with the speedy Vikings in a foot-race and thus must play ball-control on offense and limited H’boldt’s big-play explosiveness on defense. A slight underdog in some circles because of the Vikes’ supreme athleticism and a slim favorite in others due to their own status as reigning league champion, the thought here is that until they’re officially dethroned the Twisters get the benefit of the doubt. — UNION CITY.
OBION CENTRAL AT DYERSBURG — The Rebels have been the lone team to confound the Hitman — responsible for four of his misfires — three of those losses that were predicted to be wins. Central is dangerously close to running out of chances with everyone, and can ill-afford another setback in its quest for a return playoff trip. D’burg is in the same boat, but coming off a stirring upset of previously-unbeaten Crockett County, and likely chomping at the bit to gain revenge for last year’s loss that was part of a 1-4 slide to end the regular season. Either a hunch or a hope, the belief here is that OC won’t be another question mark this week. — OBION CENTRAL.
SOUTH FULTON AT LAKE CO. — Tiptonville has been a house of horrors for the Red Devil faithful — except for the fish and hushpuppies of Reelfoot Lake’s fine dining establishments. SF lost seven straight such journeys to the Falcons’ Nest during a stretch from 1983-96 when they dropped 13-of-14 overall in the series, and has been beaten in its last two trips there too. The ride home this year could be much-more enjoyable however, if a capable Big Red bunch pulls off an upset of a LC team that many question is worthy of its fifth-place state ranking. Unfortunately though, there’s no shortcut through talented QB Sam Hays and Co. for the Hitman’s homeboys. — LAKE CO.
In other games, it’ll be — Dyer County over Huntingdon, Greenfield over Gleason, Trenton over Halls, Bruceton over Middleton, West Carroll over Scotts Hill, Riverside over Dresden, McKenzie over TCA, Westview over Gibson Co., Covington over Haywood, Crockett Co. over B.T. Washington, Hillcrest over Ripley, Bolivar over South Side, Liberty over McNairy Co., Hardin Co. over Adamsville, Lexington over Fayette-Ware, Brighton over G.W. Carver, North Side over Bartlett, Henry Co. over Clarksville, USJ over Bishop Byrne, FACS over Fayette Academy, Mayfield over Ballard Mem., and Crittendon Co. over Fulton Co.