Guru choice not on ballot
Posted: Thursday, October 16, 2008 6:16 pm
By: By MIKE HUTCHENS, Messenger Sports Editor
McCain or Obama?
The Hitman makes a lot more sense.
With Republicans and Democrats both offering less-than-desirable options for the presidential election, an alternative candidate not on the ballot from the ‘Hutchitarian’ party appears to be more of what the country really needs.
The game’s greatest gridiron guru certainly provides the experience of one Commander-in-Chief aspirant with his 21 consecutive seasons of shattering the once-coveted .800 mark and 160-32 (.833) standing in the current campaign.
He can also however, fulfill the calling card promise of change of the other hopeful too, presenting proof of such with his practically-perfect prep pigskin prognostications that not the same teams win from week-to-week or year-to-year.
The sensational sideline seer addresses healthcare issues by eliminating stress caused via toss-up games as he delivers non-prescription results beforehand, and is proven unafraid of war with a win-at-all-cost mentality that constantly correctly picks against local favorites when need to.
While his present mark includes a spectacular 20-1 (.952) record when it comes to Obion County entries, the almost-automatic augur has some successful foreign policy experience too, as evidenced by his excellent showing in the unsettled ranks that is Kentucky prep football.
The economy would surely do an about-face with the Hitman’s money-in-the-bank forecasts as well, and the fear of a tax hike would be gunned down quicker than some of the prep marksman’s challengers.
And finally, his ability to sling mud with anybody — as witnessed in this space — gives him the toughen skin needed to hold such office.
No need for a debate, really, though a suitable running mate this late might be issue.
See you at the game.
GREENFIELD AT UNION CITY — The ’Jackets’ stock — with consecutive losses to South Fulton and McKenzie — has taken a Wall Street-like dive after topping out with a share of the region lead. UC meanwhile, has been the lone 7-1A team to avoid such setbacks and will remain in line for the ultimate region payoff with a win here and one more. And while their may be some fluctuation early, the forecast is for a rally spurred by big plays that will translate into high dividends for the Purple and Gold at the closing bell. No bulls or bears in this market, just Tornadoes. — UNION CITY.
OBION CENTRAL AT COVINGTON — With 6-2 Haywood and state-ranked 4A Brighton left on the slate, the Rebs’ best chance at avoiding a second straight winless year is beating a once-proud Charger program that’s recently fallen on tough times. Central has subtly gotten better in a couple of areas despite its consistent lopsided scoreboard shortcomings, and has traditionally played Covington tough, despite the misfortune of some close losses. It’s confidence understandably long gone with 17 straight losses, here’s a shot of faith that OC’s luck is about to change. In an upset — OBION CENTRAL.
LAKE CO. AT SO. FULTON — Having eyeballed his alma mater in person the past two weeks, the Hitman has welled with pride at the Devils’ new-found grittiness even more so than their 6-1 record. How SF rebounds from last week’s first loss of the season likely will define its season even further though, and dealing with the improvising athleticism of a suddenly-resurgent Falcon squad will make that task more difficult. Urged by a fellow Big Red alumnus to provide a little bulletin material for the homeboys, the Hitman agreed to take one for the team and supply a little extra motivation. — LAKE CO.
In other games, it’ll be — Gleason over Bruceton, McKenzie over West Carroll, Dyersburg over Crockett Co., Ripley over Dyer Co., Humboldt over Dresden, Westview over Gibson Co., USJ over JCS, Milan over Trenton, Adamsville over Riverside, Camden over North Side, Stewart Co. over Houston Co., Waverly over Huntingdon, TCA over Fayette Academy, Manassas over Middleton, South Side over Bolivar, Henry Co. over Munford, Hardin Co. over Liberty, Brighton over JCM, Lexington over Fayette-Ware, McNairy Central over Chester Co. and Murray over Fulton Co.