Tummy tucks and hair plugs for men
Posted: Wednesday, October 8, 2008 9:11 pm
By: By Lisa Smartt
If you don’t realize that America is obsessed with looking younger and more attractive, you must be living under a rock. Women are flocking in droves to get eye lifts, tummy tucks and various other procedures too gruesome for the written page. There are regions of our fine country that are known for producing men and women who have had a lot of “work” done. I come from a small town in Kentucky. In a small Kentucky town, having “work” done means having the yard mowed or a new driveway poured. But travel to the lovely California coast and having “work” done means something entirely different. The fountain of youth has never been so sought after. However, the phenomenon I find most interesting is the new focus on men.
Men, may I speak to you concerning this subject? I know many of you lack self-confidence and you want to see improvements in several areas of your life. Maybe you’re looking for that special woman of your dreams. Perhaps you’re tempted to have a little “work” done. Keep your plastic surgery money. Don’t bother. Take five minutes to read this column and you’ll be well on your way to a life of success.
Hair Club for Men is trying to convince you that hair is the factor. They want you to believe that hair will get you a promotion, a girlfriend and a sports car. I promise with everything that’s in me that hair can’t do any of those things. Why, just take a look around. There are tons of men with lots of hair who don’t have jobs, girlfriends or sports cars. Hair is just hair. Good night! Poodles have hair.
Other people are trying to convince you that a tummy tuck will change your life and bring the aforementioned experiences. Again, look around. There are plenty of thin men with lots of hair who are wandering aimlessly through life unable to climb the corporate ladder or woo the affections of a good woman. Yes, I used the word “woo.” Woo is a perfectly good word. It’s in the dictionary.
You see, the problem is not that you’re balding or have wrinkles. The problem is not that you have an extra 15 pounds around your middle. Men, I care about you enough to tell you the flat honest truth. Iron your clothes and get a personality. There. I said it. A thin man with hair plugs in a wrinkled shirt with a haughty personality will never be able to compete with a portly balding man in a freshly ironed cotton shirt with a good attitude. I’m serious. Smile a lot. Stand up straight. Ask questions. Don’t talk about yourself incessantly. Women love men with a courageous and loving personality. All of us detest men who talk about themselves too much or try to sell themselves like a cheap watch.
And you don’t have to look like a Chippendale’s dancer either. To be honest, I think the average Chippendale’s dancer would be much more appealing to women if he put on an ironed cotton shirt, a pair of Levi’s and looked into a woman’s eyes and said, “How was your day? Tell me everything.” That might be worth standing in line for.
In closing, I just want to encourage all you men out there to work on your people skills, warm up that iron and put a great big smile on your face. And when it comes to having “work” done … start on the inside.
Editor’s note: Lisa Smartt’s column appears each Wednesday in the Friends and Neighbors section of The Messenger. Mrs. Smartt is the wife of Philip Smartt, the University of Tennessee at Martin parks and recreation and forestry professor, and is mother to two boys, Stephen and Jonathan. She is a freelance writer and speaker. Her book “The Smartt View: Life, Love, and Cluttered Closets” is available at The Messenger, The University of Tennessee at Martin bookstore or by mail for $10, plus $2 shipping. Send checks to Lisa Smartt, 300 Parrott Road, Dresden TN 38225. She can be reached by e-mail at email@example.com.
Published in The Messenger 10.08.08