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ANNIE 10.16.07

ANNIE 10.16.07
Dear Annie: I am a young married woman. My husband, let’s call him “Pete,” is very possessive and jealous. He also has an anger problem. Anytime I go to the store, he wants to know exactly what store I am going to, who I’m going with, when I am going to be home, etc.
Pete was like this a little bit before we married, but since we said “I do,” it has gotten to the point where he will check my underwear to make sure I have returned home in the same pair. Does he expect me to buy new ones every time I go out? Once, he was really drunk and got physical. It took me a while to forgive him for that, but I will never forget it.
I fight with him constantly and we argue over everything. I am questioning the marriage. I don’t want to file for divorce, but that seems like my only choice. Any advice for a woman in need? — Frustrated in the Farmland
Dear Frustrated: Pete is showing signs of an abuser. He is controlling, suspicious and angry, and he is willing to hurt you. This type of behavior often becomes worse over time. Please don’t wait until Pete lands you in the hospital. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (ndvh.org) at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) (TTY: 1-800-787-3224) and ask for help.
Dear Annie: Recently, the cable repairman made a service call to my home. Directly above the cable box was a handblown glass horse that I had personally carried home from a trip to Venice. The horse means a lot to me, since it was originally a gift for my now-deceased father. I was preoccupied when the cable guy was making adjustments, and he hurriedly left without stopping to talk to me.
Afterward, I noticed the horse was gone. I don’t want to falsely accuse anyone, but very few people have been in my home since I moved here six months ago. I’m pretty sure the cable guy took it. Should I find out his name and write an anonymous note asking him to return the horse, no questions asked? I just want my horse back. — R.C. in S.D.
Dear R.C.: It’s much more likely that the cable guy moved the horse in order to get to the cable box without damaging your fragile souvenir. Have you looked behind the TV or on an adjacent table? If you can’t find it, call the cable company. Explain that you think the repairman might have moved a glass piece when he was in your house and ask if they would look into it for you.
Dear Annie: I’ve read letters in your column from “great guys” and “wonderful women” who say they can’t get a date because the opposite sex is looking for outer beauty. Here’s a point of view from the other side:
While in high school, I never went to prom or homecoming and never had a boyfriend. In my early 20s, I went two years without a date. I am a 5-foot-11 athletic blonde with a great sense of humor and was often told how pretty I was. I even had a terrific job and no debt. I was told I was so perfect it was intimidating. I assure you, I did nothing to encourage that type of thinking.
Here I am, at age 42, very happily married with three sons. I had to ask my husband out on our first date. He never would have had the nerve. He says he thought I was “out of his league.” I wonder how many people out there haven’t attempted to ask somebody out because of this imaginary league. — Batting a Thousand Now
Dear Batting: We’re sure there are thousands, OK, maybe dozens, of “perfect” people that others are too intimated to approach. It’s a good thing you were willing to ask your husband out first. We bet he’s pretty glad, too.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Published in The Messenger on 10.16.07

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