Posted: Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:53 pm
Dear Annie: I’m a 29-year-old guy and have never dated — and I mean never. I went on two dinner meetings that did not really qualify as dates and they never progressed further. I knew immediately that the other person wasn’t for me. We both agreed there were no signs of “clicking.”
I’m the intellectual type, although I have a good sense of humor and I’m not a geek. I like life at a slow, relaxed pace, but I also like to have fun.
What can I do to find the person who is right for me? How can I get the ball rolling and not be so indifferent to the topic most of the time? I simply assume it isn’t the right time yet. I believe the things we want most come when we least expect them, so long as we make conscious efforts to be what we hope to attract. So it must be a matter of where I hang out or something.
I know I could become a little more social. I tend to be the reserved type. I sometimes think I was born in the wrong generation or live in the wrong place because most of my likes, personality and views are different from the majority. Can you steer me in the right direction? — Paul
Dear Paul: You need to do two things: First, you must go where you can meet women who are more your type. You won’t find fish in a bakery. Try meeting women in libraries and bookstores, take a class at night or on the weekends, attend local symphony performances, travel, work for a political candidate — whatever interests you. The second thing is to be less judgmental. Someone who may not “click” on the first meeting could grow on you. You’re not giving these women a chance to get past the awkward stage. And dating all kinds of women helps you refine your search and work on your social skills. Try it.
Dear Annie: I’m short and plump. Why do manufacturers make clothes with stripes that go around instead of up and down? If they would run the stripes up and down, a lot of us would look thinner and taller. Surely I’m not the only short and plump woman. I think I speak for many.
Maybe if you print this, the designers will see it and take heed. — S & P in N.Y.
Dear N.Y.: You think? Most people prefer to appear taller and leaner, and we don’t know many who prefer horizontal stripes to vertical. However, there is a wide variety of clothing available these days that is more flattering, including solid colors. Don’t spend your money on what you dislike, and make sure the stores you patronize know why, so they can stock those styles that their customers will buy.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Happy Father-to-Be” with a lot of humor. Many years ago, we also gave our firstborn son the same name as his father and called him “John II” instead of Junior. We thought it would be wonderful. Now we wish we hadn’t done it.
People still call our son “Junior” even though that is not his name, and we have spent a lot of time at the doctor’s office going through medical files to make sure his and his father’s were not confused. We had the same difficulties with official agencies wanting information that obviously belonged to his father. Now that he is older, we have to play 20 questions every time there is a phone call — “Do you wish to speak to the father or the son?” When he was little, we could call him “Johnny” to differentiate him, but once he became an adult, he was “John,” just like his father.
We jokingly tell our friends who are expecting about our experiences and advise them to think twice before giving their children the same name as the parent. We’ve instead suggested using the same initials. — Been There, Sorry About That
Dear Been There: Thanks for the warning. We’re sure many parents-to-be are reconsidering after reading this.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Published in The Messenger 6.26.08