Posted: Friday, June 17, 2011 8:01 pm
By: Sabrina Bates, News Editor
Sabrina Bates, WCP News Editor
I am officially back at work. For those of you who don’t know, I had a beautiful baby boy on April 13 and took a much-needed maternity leave. Most people probably wouldn’t say this about their job but I have no problem admitting that I have missed it since I have been away. I have missed the community and I have missed the adult interaction.
Don’t get me wrong, though. I feel that every new mother should take some time off to spend with her newborn baby.
That six week-leave is an adjustment phase and it is worth every second of it.
It has been so long since I written to you and I have so much to say. Having a second child was completely unexpected for me and my husband. Baby Dillon was unplanned but he has truly been a blessing.
To be quite honest, my husband and I hadn’t planned to have more children after our daughter Samantha became old enough to walk, talk, feed herself and use the bathroom. We became spoiled as a couple. We can just load Samantha up in the car and go anywhere without having to pack a diaper bag filled with bottles, clean clothes, formula and, of course, diapers.
She sleeps all night every night. She picks out her own clothes and dresses herself. For us, having a five-year-old is pretty easy. Other than the occasional temper tantrums and very vocal opinions, Samantha made us relax tremendously as parents.
Throw into that mix a newborn baby boy and life turns into a tilt-a-whirl.
The pregnancy, delivery and newborn stages have proven completely different than from those circumstances with Samantha.
Even four years later, I still struggled with trying to get rid of excess weight I had gained with Samantha. Then in September I found out I was pregnant. It seemed that knowing that I was pregnant made me gain more weight and even more weight.
Let me just throw in a reminder that pregnancy and delivery with Samantha was easy on the body. As a baby, she started sleeping through the night after about six weeks. She would eat, sleep and poop as most babies are prone to do. She was content to lie down or sit upright without someone holding her at all times. When she ate, she seemed to get a full belly and would be content. Ahh, those were the days. As I said before, David and I were spoiled by this almost perfect scenario. This was nothing like the horror stories that you read or hear about from others.
Along comes a second child and everything that I thought I knew was tested to the max.
With our first child because of the newness and excitement, we didn’t opt to find out the sex. This time around, we told ourselves that we wanted to be prepared. In December we learned that we were having a baby boy.
Pregnancy with Dillon was eventful. Between the five months of morning sickness, the ballooning weight gain and the high blood pressure toward the end, I hadn’t definitely started counting down the days until my due date. I don’t think I had ever in my life been more ready to put myself through the pains of labor and childbirth than I had when I was eight months pregnant.
After 37 and a half weeks into the pregnancy my water breaks and we are off to the hospital. Somehow, our little man had managed to rupture the fluid-filled sac that he was nestled in before my body was completely ready to start the process of labor on its own.
Off to the hospital we go to learn that I was technically not in labor and I could look forward to a long day. Thanks to modern medicine that comes in the form of an intense drug known as Pitocin, my “forced” labor progressed quickly that morning.
I was ready for an epidural by mid-morning, something that I highly recommend to any and every pregnant woman. The subject of an epidural is something that is controversial for a lot of women. I personally did not want to put my body through any more pain than it was already in, so I have opted for an epidural for both deliveries.
Of course, that is just my personal preference and every woman is different. I can remember talking to my dad about it when I was pregnant with Samantha and he offered a great piece of advice, as is the norm with him.
Considering the majority of women who have had an epidural suffer little to no incidents from them and the procedure is well-known for being safe, why succumb to any more discomfort or pain than what I already have to with delivery? Thanks for the tip, Dad. Well noted.
As much as mom needed the epidural on April 13, Dillon wasn’t a big fan. I don’t even to this day know exactly what happened or how the maternity ward nurse at Volunteer Community Hospital knew that Dillon didn’t like the epidural. I have to give credit to those nurses at that hospital. We had Samantha at Volunteer Community Hospital and its maternity ward was amazing. The nurses were calming and just wonderful to be around.
The second time around, I don’t have even an ounce of regret with choosing that hospital.
Even when situations came up that day in the maternity ward that would have prompted me, who was already on edge from labor pains, to worry, the nurses there were just so calm and didn’t go into any detail about what was really going on. I appreciate that now.
After the labor was back on track and the epidural had officially kicked in, seven hours into the day Dillon came into this world weighing a petite seven pounds. Delivery was eventful and, once again, situations that would have prompted panic on my end were handled diligently by the doctors and nurses.
I felt privileged to have not only Jami Maddox in the delivery room, but Dr. “Buffy” Lund there to deliver my baby boy. Both of those women had been with me throughout the duration of both of my pregnancies and I don’t think I would have had it any other way.
This is my opportunity to thank them and their staff and the nurses at the maternity ward at Volunteer Community Hospital. As I look back two months later, the circumstances surrounding the delivery of Dillon and my care after that could be included in some of those horror stories that first-time mothers always seem to hear while they are pregnant.
It is truly a blessing that Dillon and I are healthy and happy. I owe thanks to those who were charged with our care throughout my pregnancy and delivery.
Having a second child and spending so much time at home out in the country while on maternity leave has given me a chance to learn things about myself that I wasn’t aware of.
I have learned that while the idea of being a stay-at-home mom is a dream for some women, I am not programmed to stay at home with the kids all day, every day. I enjoy working and interacting with all types of people. I am not cut out to be a SAHM. This is just a personal preference for me. I have no regrets about that decision either knowing that both of my children are well taken care of during the day when I am at work.
I enjoy sleeping. Obviously, I took that for granted after Samantha started sleeping all night and before Dillon was born.
I have seen the sun rise more times than I ever wish to since Dillon was born. I am truly amazed at how little sleep a person can function on, even if I am functioning poorly.
Post-partum depression truly is a disorder. There are levels of post-partum depression and fluctuating hormones are a factor in emotional distress. I have no problem admitting to people that I needed medication about four weeks after giving birth this time around.
The best way to describe what you feel like is to imagine that you have been invited to a party. All of your close friends and family are going to be at this party. You show up and people don’t even acknowledge your presence. You become angry and take off your clothes, just in the hope of being noticed for whatever reason, and people still don’t even know that you are there. No one at the party knows when you came or when you left, nor do they seem to care. They were having a great time and you felt as if life was passing you by with no opportunity to jump in and join the rest of the party. That is what I felt like.
With some kind words from Jami and some medication, I realized that I am the life of my own party as I have always been. I had just lost sight of my own self worth.
Throughout the last year, life has dealt its share of uncertainties. It has been an emotional roller coaster and the ride really has just started down the tracks.
Dillon is a healthy eater. He likes to be held, or should I say, demands to be held. Things are not as simple as they once were with an extra car seat, bottles, formula and diapers. None of those items are cheap either. Time has become a luxury and days seem to mimic one another. I turn around and the next thing I know, the weekend has already arrived and I couldn’t tell you what I did two days prior. With all of the extreme differences between life with Samantha as a baby and life with Dillon as a baby, I will admit that my children do have one absolute in common that they will always share other than DNA.
They both have my unconditional love. Through the sleepless nights that Dillon causes and the morning drama that stems from not having a clean dress to wear to school caused by his big sister Samantha, I am pretty sure that I couldn’t imagine my life any other way at this point.
While my husband may no longer be spoiled, we are truly blessed by our children.
Share your thoughts with me by e-mail at email@example.com.
Batesville, Sabrina Bates, U.S.A.