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Hitman needs final takedown
Loser leave town, or winner take all?
Isn’t it the same?
The Hitman, Friday football’s fabulous finals forecaster, finds himself once more in the main event of a competition where the line between real and fake is sometimes blurred.
Nonetheless, the practically-perfect prep pigskin prognosticator will put his belt on the line as the undisputed champion of picking winners and losers in this week’s state championship games, having already triumphed in the battle royal to surpass the .800 mark for the 23rd straight year. Read More ...
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Slogan fits Guru perfect
It truly doesn’t get any better than this.
The ‘this’ is the Hitman — the game’s greatest gridiron guru — and a real-life example of the above age-old advertising slogan.
The sensational sure-shot sideline soothsayer — at least for one week — removed the adverb from his trademark ‘practically-perfect prep pigskin prognosticator’ label with an unblemished 7-0 showing in the quarterfinals playoff round.
A flawless Friday football finals forecast brought the seasonal numbers to 258-52 (.835), and indeed further entrenched the simply-superb seer’s standing with a 23rd straight season of eclipsing the .800 mark already a lock. Read More ...
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Guru plays cop in real-life case
The story you are about to read is true. The name has been changed to protect the innocent. Or, more accurately, the one who got caught. While answering dozens of e-mails on Tuesday, the Hitman — the game’s greatest gridiron guru — replied to an inquiry from ‘Joe’ who wanted the lowdown on a story in SportsMonday. ‘Joe’ noted a piece in the coverage of Union City’s upcoming playoff rematch with Huntingdon. That article quoted Tornado head coach Darren Bowling as saying his team would do some different things defensively against the Mustangs — particularly while trying to stop Huntingdon’s vaunted rushing game. Read More ...
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Prep prophet worth big $$
The rich get richer.
The Hitman — the cash cow of Friday football finals forecasters — continues to be the safest of investments amid troubling economic times.
The practically-perfect prep pigskin prognosticator’s profitable portfolio now officially includes 23 consecutive seasons of returning dividends at better than an .800 clip.
This year’s yields (246-49 — .833) reflect yet another steady gain, with the sensational sideline soothsayer’s sums easily ranking atop an otherwise fluctuating market of unreliable brokers. Read More ...
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Guru making sweet music
Same song, 23rd verse.
The Hitman — the game’s greatest gridiron guru — is once again whistling a familiar tune.
The practically-perfect prep pigskin prognosticator’s pipes remain golden with a 23rd straight season of shattering the sounds of .800 — the platinum benchmark of Friday football forecasters.
The harmonious decibels of a 228-44 (.838) performance is truly another in a long list of smash hits for the sensational sideline soothsayer, who stayed in rhythm with a 22-4 (.846) in the final week of the regular season.
Hoping to keep up with a different beat in the playoffs, the awesome all-knowing augur strikes up the band for another catchy chorus.
See you at the game. Read More ...
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Guru paddles through storm
Row, row, row your boat ...
While the Hitman prepares to negotiate the always-rocky waves of Week 10 and a predicted two-night deluge of storms, treading water is not an option.
Those who’ve chosen to either sink or swim with the game’s greatest gridiron guru over the years have long since arrived safely ashore, proficiently paddled by the practically-perfect prep pigskin prognosticator. Read More ...
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Gridiron guru a rare breed
Put out the fire and call the dogs.
The hunt’s over.
While some of the nation’s top retrievers and their trainers have been in our little neck of the woods over the last week, the hallowed head hound of Friday football forecasting remains at the front of the prep prognostication pack. Read More ...
By MIKE HUTCHENS, Messenger Sports Editor |
Wilkes will live on through others
Peter Wilkes had a big heart.
It’s only fitting now, that someone else is benefiting from it.
In the aftermath of a terrible tragedy last weekend that left the 18-year-old former Tornado football player dead and numbed our small community, Wilkes’ major organs were harvested so that others in need might live.
It’s obviously the only good thing to come from such a horrible happening.
While more than a half-dozen of Peter’s organs were successfully collected by trained specialists in that medical field, reportedly, a young 15-year-old boy from Texas received Wilkes’ heart. Read More ...
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Hitman’s card has best grades
With fall break upon us, it seemed a fitting time for a mid-term mini-quiz.
The Hitman is:
(A) Easily the game’s greatest gridiron guru.
(B) A practically-perfect prep pigskin prognosticator coming off a 23-2 (.920) effort from last week.
(C) The fabulous Friday football forecaster whose 143-24 (.856) mark for the season is a lock to eclipse the once-coveted .800 mark for a remarkable 23rd consecutive year.
(D) All the above. Read More ...
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Hitman intent on topping off every glass
Half-full or half-empty?
Taking a mid-season inventory, the Hitman — the game’s greatest gridiron guru — finds his favorite glass marked at a spot that’s caused considerable debate among those who regularly check such levels.
On one hand, the sensational sideline soothsayer is indeed still the practically-perfect prep pigskin prognosticator as last week’s second consecutive 23-3 (.884) serving suggests. That brought the fabulous Friday football foreteller’s seasonal mark to 120-22 (.845), halfway toward a 23rd consecutive year of filling his .800 container to the brim. Read More ...
By MIKE HUTCHENS, Messenger Sports Editor |
Hitman dines on favorite dish
Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
The fabulous Friday football foreteller’s favorite fowl feast was served in full buffet style last week as the Hitman devoured multiple platefuls of the only bird in which he indulges.
The sensational sideline soothsayer’s served spread featured a 23-3 (.884) menu with a side order of correctly calling the Union City-Obion Central game for the 23rd time in 25 tries (.920). For dessert it was more of the same as the game’s greatest gridiron guru has proven to be a true glutton with now a season-long .836 percentage (97-19), well on his way to cleaning his and everyone else’s plate while finishing off an unprecedented 23rd consecutive season of eclipsing the .800 mark. Read More ...
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Gridiron guru rarely flubs up
There’s no such thing as a sure thing.
The Hitman, though, is pretty close.
Having correctly predicted 22 of the previous 24 Obion Central-Union City matchups, the game’s greatest gridiron guru has indeed been a practically-perfect pigskin prognosticator while fabulously forecasting Friday football finals in the long-running county series.
The sensational sideline soothsayer has been branded both friend and foe by each side — depending on each year’s pregame premonition. The all-knowing augur continues to be unwavering, though, in his quest for perfection, or at least the title of positively-peerless prep prophet.
With a seasonal mark of 74-16 (.822) and unprecedented .916 accuracy rate while correctly calling the OC-UC series, the unrivaled seer looks to better those marks with this week’s calls. Anybody got a coin?
See you at the game. Read More ...
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Guru tagged ‘it’ or ‘not it’ in pick game
Come out, come out wherever you are!
Having toyed with the masses in typical child’s play fashion, the Hitman is searching for those who’ve resorted to a ‘hide-and-seek’ mode rather than face the schoolyard’s sensational sideline soothsayer.
Consecutive weeks of un-guru-like results to open the season had prompted some unflattering name-calling instead of the usual “fabulous Friday football foreteller” or “practically-perfect prep pigskin prognosticator.”
The game’s greatest gridiron guru answered with his very own version of ‘kick-the-can’ — a 22-3 (.880) performance last Friday that brought the current totals to 53-12 and .815, respectively. Read More ...
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Hitman hears early sounds of discontent
Pssst.
The whispering has already started.
After a second week of unacceptable results by his own lofty standards, the Hitman — prep pigskin’s perennial practically-perfect prognosticator — has heard the growing murmurs.
“He’s lost it,” mumbled one unnamed office worker in particular. Another, outside the workplace, was overheard quietly proclaiming, “It happens to the best of them, ultimately.” Read More ...
By MIKE HUTCHENS, Messenger Sports Editor |
Prep prophet won’t offer Week 0 alibi
Coulda’.
Woulda’.
Shoulda’.
Two one-point decisions and another by two points had the Hitman — he of the usually practically-perfect prep pigskin prognostications — tempted to reach into a bag of little-used excuses once the final Week 0 tallies were counted. Read More ...
By MIKE HUTCHENS, Messenger Sports Editor |
Prep prophet shows no signs of Father Time
The Hitman’s not getting older.
He’s getting better.
The game’s greatest gridiron guru returns for his 25th season of targeting winners and losers, having withstood the test of time while looking none the worse for wear. Read More ...
By MIKE HUTCHENS, Messenger Sports Editor |
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